Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Home Invasion

This morning I was in my basement getting ready for the day when I could hear a magpie bird. See Exhibit A.

Exhibit A

Let me tell you how I detest the magpies. They are loud and mean. When they are in my backyard they dive bomb our cats and will mock us from the rain gutters. See Exhibit B.

Exhibit B

I've become a good shot with the BB gun to keep them out of our yard! So this morning when I heard it I thought "Those cheeky magpies! They know we aren't usually up this early and are taking advantage of it!" And it was very loud! It sounded like it was right outside the window. I headed upstairs to get my OJ, when there sitting on top of the mirror in the living room was the intruding magpie. "How did that get in here?!?" All the doors and windows were closed. It let out a loud caw-caw at me. I opened the front door and attempted to shoo it towards it. It flew upstairs to the office. It was being so loud and I noticed objects and pictures knocked over in the office. How could my mom be sleeping through this? I went and woke her up. She got a blanket to help wrangle as I ran to get the swiffer to give me more height. The magpie kept flying from the bookshelf to the large painting on the wall to the chandelier and back again. See Exhibit C.

Exhibit C

At one point it got tired and fell on my head!! Scaly claw legs and wings flapping in your hair first thing in the morning will wake you up quickly! (Hitchcock's The Birds anyone?) It eventually flew down the stairwell. We waited for him to hop his way back up the stairs. It just sat and looked at us with his wee beady eyes. He then heard the call of a magpie outside and walked out the front door before flying away. Apparently my parents had the doors open last night to cool the house down and he had spent the night in our house without us knowing. So beware of the loud, mean, home invading magpies.


Maddie said...

haha, lee you are an awesome writer!! loved this story :)

Staci T said...

"Cheeky" is my new favorite word!

Melissa said...

That's a riot!

I've always loved magpies, myself. But it sounds like we've had totally different experiences with them!

jasmine said...

oh my gosh!! that bird is such a jerk!! i think i hate magpies now too. they have a really ugly name...i guess it goes with their personalities.